Sunshine in April

Are your automatic thoughts helping or hurting?

Now that you have your automatic thought record (ATR) all filled out, it’s time to take the next steps. WHAT? You didn’t do your homework or even know you had homework? That’s ok, go back and check out Automatic Thought Record: Building insight more info. I’ll patiently wait here for you.

For those who did their homework or came back after completing it – GREAT JOB! You rock! If you’re just here to hang out and get some ideas on challenging unhelpful thought processes, you also rock!

Take one line of your automatic thought record (or just one of those automatic thoughts that jump into your head before you know it) and let’s put it through a test. What was the event, what were your automatic thoughts, what were your feelings and how intense, what did you do and what was the overall outcome? Now focus on just one of the automatic thought statements at a time. We are going to the darker side here, so if you picked a thought that was happy and positive, pick again!  

Step 1: You are 100% correct with your thought. Write down anything you can think of that supports how justified you were in your automatic mental reaction to the event. Whatever comes to mind – don’t overthink it, just write it down. What makes that thought valid?  

Step 2: NOPE! You are 100% incorrect with your thought. Write down anything you can think of that invalidates the thought. How is it wrong? What evidence negates it? Do you have any past experiences or even your own previous thoughts that were opposite of this thought? How would you challenge it if a loved one said this, but you totally disagreed?

Step 3: Look at the feelings, behaviors, and outcomes associated with the automatic thought from the event. How intense were those feelings? How effective was your behavior? Were you satisfied with the final outcome? After doing this, go back through and consider adding more info that validates your thought (Step 1) or shows your flawed your thinking may have been (Step 2).

Step 4: Go back to your automatic thought and final lists for steps 1 and 2. Say the thought out loud to hear how it sounds, then say each item on our 100% correct list, then your 100% incorrect list. Giving voice to each piece is important and adds a layer of reflection. First you thought it, then you wrote it down, now you’re saying it out loud.

As you are saying each item out loud, think about how much power it has over you and how much each piece guides your feelings, behaviors, and impacts your relationships. Consider not only your relationship with others (interpersonal), but also the relationship you have with yourself (intrapersonal). For example, how frequently are you having interpersonal conflicts with others, especially the people you interact with daily like workmates or housemates? And how frequently are you having intrapersonal conflict with yourself?

Step 6: Decide how helpful the original automatic thought was and if you need to keep your list for step 2 somewhere visible as a reminder of how to negate the unhelpful thought next time it comes up. You’ve already done some great work in Step 2 (and possibly in Step 1) on how to challenge automatic thoughts that are not serving you well. Nice job!

Below are other ways to battle automatic thoughts that lead to unhelpful behaviors and outcomes. These can be especially helpful when a thought becomes obsessive and won’t go away:

Distract your brain with an activity, like a walk, going for a drive, focusing on a project. I find searching for a funny meme to share with my humor after breast cancer group a great distraction.

Distract yourself with help from others, like calling or messaging one of your favorite people or reaching out to someone you haven’t interacted with in a while. I sometimes combine the distractions with a phone call on a walk – that way, I’m getting outside, moving my body, and connecting with important people in my world. Another combo I love is singing and driving. No one can tell me to stop the madness if I’m alone in my car jamming. But I do get some looks when the top’s down.

Distract your brain with a word or phrase you keep repeating in order to overcome the obsessive thought: No (no no no no no…), Stop (stop stop stop stop), Yes (yes yes yes…). I can. I’ve got this. I am empowered. Wtf (I totally recommend the whole phrase).

Distract yourself with a mental task like counting backwards from 1000 or saying your ABCs backwards. This can work with insomnia brain as well.

A powerful distraction one of my graduate professors did was slamming a large book to the ground. That got everyone’s attention and I’ve even done that when ruminating thoughts won’t let me go. Pretty sure I peed my pants, so maybe go to the bathroom first.

Last resort, or even first,  physically tap your head and annoy yourself. You can do this alone or add your mantra (word or phrase from above).  here to step it up when it just won’t stop.

Note that if the event and subsequent thoughts have led to feelings of anger, stress, frustration, and/or depression, something or multiple things may not okay in your world. Anger is NOT a bad or negative emotion. It is simply a natural and normal human emotion that is worth paying attention to. Any of these emotions may be your brain and body’s way of telling you it’s time to make changes in your life. If you’re not able to work through the issues, it may be time to think about professional intervention with a therapist. Sometimes therapy can be the biggest life gift you can give yourself. It has been for me.

Overall, the real message is that only YOU can make a difference. We cannot change other people. We cannot change events. We can have an impact by changing our thinking about the events and people. We can make a difference by seeing how we contribute to the issues and intervene within ourselves for healthier outcomes.